Family history, a career in divorce law, and connection to music inform my open conversation about what we promise and expect in relationships. I write songs, perform, and speak about this and I’ve also founded a non-profit called All-In-Love.Org to help people who have suffered domestic abuse transition from surviving to thriving.
Imagine a society with no murder, no rape, and no child abuse, with enough resources to go around so that everyone has what they need. This describes bonobo society, and this is why now, in addition to the age-old question, “What would Jesus do?” I often ask myself, “What would the bonobos do?”
The book Bonobo Handshake taught me that bonobos (a kind of chimpanzee with which we share 98% of our DNA) are very open about their sexuality, and sometimes greet each other by handling each others’ genitals. I’m not saying we should act on all of our sexual impulses unchecked, but I do think we can learn to be with each other and our sexuality in new ways that will make our relationships and our world more caring.